Child Abuse Recovery Journal

Find Your Voice!

2011-09-14T15:30:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I turn 62. 45 years ago, I escaped from my abuser…my father. From age 5-17 he molested me.

The memories have always been vivid and haunting, and sometimes torturous. For so many years I was filled with anger and rage. Sometimes, that rage, would even be towards myself. I was hiding behind walls of guilt and shame, fear, desperation, and mistrust of everyone. I felt invisible.

No one heard my voice. No one saw the signs. No one came to rescue me. So instead of waiting for someone to rescue me, I learned how to hide. I built a suit of armor to shield me from reality.

Poetry-My Voice

As a child I had so much love to give.
My trust was blind until I was betrayed.
When innocence was stolen in the night
something sacred was taken I’m afraid.

I hid behind the chaos in my mind.
I hid behind the weeping willow trees.
I hid behind the hatred in my heart.
Eventually it brought me to my knees.

I prayed to God in heaven day and night.
I prayed that he would save me from my hell.
I prayed that he’d forgive me for my sins,
then he delivered me from Satan’s spell.

For so many years I suffered silently.
and so many times I thought I had no choice,
but Jesus heard my cries and rescued me,
yes my Lord in heaven gave me back my voice.

My life did not change until I surrendered it to God. This transformation did not happen overnight though. For many years I couldn’t even bring myself to trust God. Sometimes I even blamed my heavenly father for what my earthly father did to me. But as I grew I learned that God was not the guilty party. Neither was I.

Sometime in my twenties, I found my voice; the gift of poetry. Through my poetry I could share my feelings, my fears and my successes. It was a fluid process of transformation. Each time I wrote a poem that I felt was helpful in my healing, I felt a sense of fulfillment, a sense of purpose.

What ever stage of healing you are in, writing about your childhood abuse can be cathartic. Whether you share what you write or not, is your decision, but I know, as a survivor and a poet, that God’s gift to me of being able to write, saved my life…

Prayers For Healing,
Susasn Maree Jeavons

Healing Addictions

I am inclined to believe
that old habits,
engraved on my brain
remain there to relieve
my pain
and are necessary
to prevent me
from going insane…

From Woman to Crone

There is peace in my aloneness now,
unlike when I was a young woman
whose seclusion almost drove her mad.
I use to believe that I had wasted
so much time, until at last,
I understood the lessons.

These wrinkles you see,
they are all a part of me
and with the passage of time
and the acceptance of memories,
both bitter and sweet, healing began
and wisdom was born out of misery.

In The Feeling

There is a terror
in the remembering,
a terror of the truth,
a terror of the unknown
and the known.

There is a settling
in the knowing,
a settling of my inner spirit
when accepting my setbacks,
my weaknesses, my victories.

There is a cleansing
in the grief,
a cleansing of the toxins
that pervaded my existence,
threatened my sanity.

There is a freedom
in the telling,
freedom from a life time
of secrecy and lies,
shame and silence.

There is a healing
at long last,
a healing of body, mind and spirit,
born of determination, courage and hope
a healing, at long last
a hard-fought-for healing...

Update

2011-03-18T06:54:00.000-07:00

Hello again,

I wanted to update you on what's been going on in my life. Most of you know that my husband has cancer related to agent orange. He is in remission, but now has a large blood clot in that lung. He spent a few days including his birthday, in the hospital. Right after he came home, I was admitted with severe pneumonia. I spent 5 days there and came home with oxygen, temporarily. Please keep us both in your prayers.

I am also doing what I can to promote Dreamcatchers For Abused Children, and any other worthy cause that spreads the word about child abuse. I recently received this letter from Kimberly Ray:

Thu, 17 Mar 2011
Dear Susan,

As a fellow survivor of domestic violence and child abuse, I’d like to commend you on the good work you’re doing to lead victims of abuse on a path to recovery and help them find their purpose in life. Like you, I’m a survivor and started my recovery through journaling, which led to my published book titled ‘And Yet, You Still Chose Me’, my redemptive, true-life journey of child abuse.

My novel is now being adapted to the silver screen. Like the novel, the film is being produced for 1 reason – to help victims of child abuse walk a path of deliverance from their past. But, the film will do even more. It will show the impact of abuse on the entire family unit. It will also send a message to pedophiles, bringing awareness to the havoc that their perverted acts cause innocent children, both boys and girls, and society as a whole.

As you can imagine, it’s been difficult to find our market because so many of the abused are still victims, still suffering in silence, never to have appropriately dealt with this atrocity, due to no fault of their own. It’s time out for that. It’s time for them to be liberated. And, it’s by survivors like you and me, partnering to help them, that they can begin their recovery. I’ve chosen to make a difference through the arts with my novel and this film titled ‘Picture Me Blue No More’, due in theaters in late 2012.

We are currently raising seed money to start camera roll and to demonstrate to our prospective investors that there is a market for this film. Donations have been slow and we’re running out of time. Can you help me by blogging about this film, about this movement? We need to get the word out and this is not a message that mainstream media has embraced. But, we know how timely this story is. Don’t we?

For more information about this movement, visit the official movie website at http://www.onyxpearl.com/picturemebluenomore
A portion of the film’s proceeds will be donated to charitable organizations established to help victims of domestic abuse.

Let me know if you are able to assist me.

Warmest Regards.
Kimberly Ray
kimberlray17@yahoo.com

Author, “And Yet, You Still Chose Me (the book)”

Producer, “Picture Me Blue No More (the movie)”

Best Wishes Kimberly!

Dreamcatchers For Abused Children Fundraiser!

2011-01-08T20:37:00.000-08:00

Also, I received this email and wanted to share it. Please give Sarah your support.

Thank you.
From: Sarah Johnson
To: blueeyedreb@windstream.net
Sent: Monday, January 10, 2011 10:55 AM
Subject: Blog

Good Morning!

I came across your blog this morning and I think that it is so inspirational and a blessing for those suffering. Thank you for your efforts.

I recently self-published my first book "Why Me" and I would love for you to check it out. I am a survivor of childhood abuse and my first book - while short - is doing very well on Amazon Kindle and I am getting prepared to write my longer 2nd book about overcoming the pain and suffering left long after the beatings stop. It was so hard to write and I have been getting great positive customer reviews - however, some wanted more details. It was so hard to write what I did end up publishing - and I would hope my story would be an inspiration to the readers of your blog. I tried to end every chapter on a positive note - trying to point out that there was always something that kept me going or put a smile on my face.

God bless you and the work you do.
Sarah Burleton
Why Me?
Amazon Kindle
http://www.amazon.com/Why-Me-ebook/dp/B0044UHV9U/ref=pd_ts_b_1?ie=UTF8&s=books

God Save The Children...

2010-07-21T18:57:00.000-07:00

I Submitted this letter to CNN on Sunday, May 16, 2010. I've received no reply so far.

I am a 60-year-old survivor of childhood sexual abuse. As a former feature writer at Suite101.com, I’ve written many articles on the topic of child abuse and talked with hundreds of victim/survivors from all over the world. Their stories were hard to listen to, some even appalling. I thought that nothing else could shock me, until I tuned in to Headline News on CNN and saw the video of the 7-9-year-old girls dressed in skimpy outfits, dancing very seductively to Biance's song, “Single Ladies.”

Then I saw a show about toddler’s beauty pageants. These tiny human beings whose parents dressed them seductively, taught them to look sexy at the camera and make seductive dance moves for the adoring crowd, should be outside playing hopscotch, jump rope, riding bicycles, not parading their tiny bodies on stage. Some were as young as a year old. Most wore more makeup than I do in a week, and had hair extensions, false lashes, and bright lipstick. Who knows how many perverts were in the audience with camera phones waiting to send pictures to other pedophiles? Do they even care?

Then there is the Internet phenomenon of teens who are “sexting” nude pictures of themselves to boyfriends or other friends. Mind you, some of these teens are as young as 13-years-old. They don’t realize that once you post something on the Internet, it can travel all over the world, and it can ruin your life. Future employers, colleges, and someday, their own children, may find these nude pictures. Pedophiles may find these pictures, then may share it with other perverts.

Why do parents allow computers in their teens rooms, and allow them to have cameras that can take their pictures to send over the internet?

What is going on with the parents of today? Don't they see the news? Don't they remember the pervert in Florida that buried a little girl alive after molesting her? Don't they see the kidnappings, rapes and murders of little girls, boys and teens in the news? Are they too busy trying to survive in this economy that they don’t have time to know what is going on in their own homes? Are they so desperate for stardom that they allow their children to perform seductive dances in order to win a trophy and crown?

Someone has to save these little girls. Someone has to speak up for them! If we don‘t, what is next? I am afraid to even think about it. God save the children!

Write to me and let me know your opinion. And please….no profanity and no perverts. I will delete anything that is distasteful.

2010-02-20T05:19:00.000-08:00

Saturday, February 20, 2010

To our friends and family, Sid's cancer is in remission, (Praise the Lord!) but on Tuesday the 9th, I took him to Tri-point Hospital with pneumonia. His VA doctor said to go to the nearest emergency room instead of going all the way to Cleveland. Then on Saturday the 13th, my daughter took me to Tri-point with pneumonia! We both came home on Wednesday, and we are slowly getting better.

God's mercy and blessings are still at work in our lives, and we sure do appreciate all the prayers. As of Valentine's day, I no longer desire cigarettes! That's after over 40 years of a pack-three pack a day addiction. Just the fact that I get up in the morning and do NOT want a cigarette 1st thing, is amazing to me! But I don't. I know God took that burden away from me.

Please keep us both in your prayers and I will try to post updates as much as possible.
Love to all,
Susan Maree

2009-12-16T06:02:00.000-08:00

I have been away too long. I just wanted to tell my friends that my email address has changed to:

blueeyedreb@windstream.net

Also, The Wordcharmer's Poetry site no longer exists. Geocities started charging for site and when I did not know this, removed the site. Maybe sometime I will create a new poetry site. But for now, I'll post here when I can.

I wanted to share a couple poems about Christmas and children. Please do not post these poems on other sites without my permission.

Parents, the greatest gifts that you can give your childen are your love, patience, understanding and kindness. In the end, that is what they will remember about Christmas, not the presents under the tree.

Merry Christmas to you all. Send me an email when you have time.
Blessings and Miracles,
Susan Maree

The Christmas Star

On a starry night in Bethlehem with angels gathered near
God sent a child to save us all; the chosen one so dear.
And on that night the brightest star shone down from up above
to light the way to peace on Earth, to goodness and to love.

The years went by and man forgot the promise that God made.
Greed, lust and evil reigned and the star began to fade,
until one night on Christmas Eve a child knelt down to pray
and she did not ask for toys or games as she wiped her tears away.

“Dear God, it is your birthday and I have no gift for you,
just a promise that I will be good, cause I know you want me to.
Sometimes it’s hard to do my best when I feel so very sad
or when my parents are mean to me because they say I’m bad.

I don’t mean to be a little brat like Mommy says I am
and Daddy always seems so mad when he screams bad words like “damn”.
So sometimes I just run and hide and kneel down here to pray
cause Grandma says you love me and protect me night and day.

So Happy Birthday Jesus and thank you for your love,
and for that pretty star I see that shines down from above.”
So this Christmas if you’re all alone and feeling sad and blue,
remember that you are God’s child and he gave his son for you.

The star still shines to light your way if ever you’re afraid.
Just call his name and he’ll be there and his love will never fade.

© 2003 Susan Maree Jeavons-All Rights Reserved

A New Night Before

‘Twas the night before Christmas, something wasn't right
the children weren't happy, ‘twas a very sad sight.
Santa was puzzled, Oh what could he do
for these innocent children he once thought he knew?
They didn't want dolls or wagons or toys,
they didn't even smile like most girls and boys.
They had bruises on their cheeks, tears in their eyes,
then Santa heard their whimpers, heard all their cries.
He'd been very busy, did not see the clues,
these sad little children had all been abused.
"How can I give them presents when they need so much more;
A safe place to sleep instead of the floor,
a full belly at night and parents who care,
how can I think of Christmas when this just isn't fair?"
He went right to work, with the help of his crew,
toiling all night until the great task was through.
Bright and early on Christmas, the children all rose
thinking that Santa cared not of their woes,
'til they looked near the tree and there in plain sight
was a letter to all parents in plain black and white:

"Dear Parents I've left no toys here today
but listen and heed these words that I say.
These children need more than presents this time.
I want you to know, ABUSE IS A CRIME!
A child isn't yours to do with as you please
children have rights, rights such as these:
the right to be healthy, not hungry and weak,
the right to be happy, the right just to speak.
Just like you and I, they have hopes and fears,
So I've brought a few presents, the first is their tears.
Please wipe them away, and calm them with a kiss.
Next is their hearts, something you sometimes miss.
Please handle them gently, for a child's heart will break,
and some scars never heal from your careless mistakes.
Next is their spirit and their inquisitive mind,
both fragile parts, so try to be kind.
Last are the souls, innocent and good,
placed in these children, so try if you could
to always be loving, patient and fair.
It's the gift they all asked for, so show them you care.
Each child is unique, has so much to give.
All they want is your love, a chance just to live.
Merry Christmas to all and to every girl and boy
a home filled with laughter, a home filled with joy.

© 1999 Susan Maree Jeavons-All Rights Reserved

Just Checking In

2009-06-24T08:31:00.000-07:00

Hello again,

It has been a while since I last posted. My husband completed his treatments but the tumor is still attached to his heart, so the doctors gave him a break from treatments until next month. He'll go back for another PET scan and we'll see what the plan is from there. It may never be operable, but the chemo can prolong his life at least.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank all of those friends, family and even strangers who prayed for Sid and helped us out when things were getting tough. Your love and prayers gave us hope.

After filling out endless forms and making dozens of calls, then finally writing to Congressman Steven LaTourette, the VA granted Sid a 100% service-connected disability related to exposure to Agent Orange when he served in Korea. So if there are any guys from Sid's unit out there who are still fighting for their's, email us and we'll help if we can. I'd advise you to contact your congressman too. It helped.

We have been enjoying the "time off" by visiting with family and friends, and just sitting on the porch watching the critters and their new babies. It is hard for Sid to get used to not working, but he really has no choice. Most of the time he has no energy and his legs get tired easily. He does like to cut the grass, but that's about all he is able to do.

Needless to say, because of our situation, my writing has taken a back seat, but one day I hope to get back to my mission in life; helping other child abuse survivors. I am working on a book for survivors, and hopefully when it is finished, I can get it published. I also finished a novella last year, and am still editing and trying to get it published. So I have not given up writing completely.

Thanks again for all of your prayers. God Bless you for caring. I am posting one poem that I wrote recently.

Hugs and Love,
Susan Maree

Our Father’s Love

God touches us with healing hands
if we will just believe,
he’ll take away our every pain,
our sorrows when we grieve.

He’ll hold us in his loving arms
and wipe away our tears,
and in the darkest part of night,
he’ll ease all of our fears.

For God the Father’s love is pure,
much purer than the snow,
and when we accept him in our hearts
it’s then that we will know

that no other love can ever compare
to the love we feel inside
for a father who loved us all so much
that upon a cross he died.

Even in our darkest hour
his love will light the way,
so that we might have eternal life
with him in heaven someday.

© Sunday, April 26, 2009 Susan Maree Jeavons-All Rights Reserved

Life's Trials Go On

2008-12-12T19:23:00.001-08:00

Hello All,

Well, thanks to an angel, I have a new computer. But I also have some sad news to share. In September, my husband of 22 years was diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer. He spent 8 months on the DMZ in Korea in 1969 during the Vietnam war, where they sprayed agent orange. He is now receiving chemotherapy and radiation treatments at the Wade Park VA in Cleveland (a hundred miles round trip daily,) 5 days a week. He just finished round one of chemo and has several more rounds to go. The doctors are trying to shrink the large tumor enough to operate. It is a dangerous tumor that is pressing on his heart and vocal chords. Your prayers would be greatly appreciated.

As a child abuse survivor, I thought I had already conquered the biggest mountain that I'd have to climb, but as the wife of someone with cancer, I can't begin to tell you how hard it is watching my husband suffer through these treatments. It breaks my heart to see him struggling just to eat or get out of bed every day. He has gone from 165 pounds down to 137 pounds. He had to have all of his teeth removed before chemo and that makes it even more of a challenge to find foods that he can eat. Chemo also gives food a metallic taste, so that adds to the difficulty. He'll be able to get dentures in about 4-6 more weeks. Hopefully, then he'll eat more.

I'm sure there are others out there who have gone through this with loved ones. Each day is a roller coaster ride of emotions. With him not being able to work, and me having to stay home to take care of him, we have had to rely on friends and family for many things. The Veteran's Service Commission of Ashtabula County has also been a big help. His cancer is listed as presumtive service-related because of the agent orange that was sprayed, which means he would receive a pension. Hopefully he won't have to fight for that.

My husband Sid Jeavons was in the US Army, B Co. 1st Battalion, 32nd Infantry 7ID. He was stationed in Camp Hovey in 1969 and 1970, and would like to find others who were there then too. The only names that he can remember are the following:

Mark or Bob Wilson from California
Sergeant Pearl from Montana
Arcwell from Boston
Bob Cross from Seymour Indiana
Tony McElrath from Detroit Michigan

If anyone out there knows these guys, please have them email me at blueeyedreb@windstream.net

Sid would like to hear from you.

I hope you all understand why I have not written any articles on child abuse lately. Someday I hope to get back to my mission. Until then, I still answer emails from survivors who just need to talk.

Blessings and Miracles,
Susan Maree

Update

2008-05-25T04:26:00.000-07:00

Hello to all,

I apologize for not posting any new articles or poetry for so long. I am afraid my poor computer is so slow that I just don't have the patience to do much with it anymore. Until I can afford a new one, I won't be doing much on-line posting.

I hope you all are having a wonderful Spring/Summer. We just came back from a quick trip to North Carolina to pick up my Great Grandmother's rocking chair. It sat on her porch for many years, then on my grandmother's for the last 50. Now it sits on mine.

I am still interested in hearing from other survivors. If you would like to contact me, I have a new email address:

blueeyedreb@windstream.net

I will be glad to listen to your stories, and/or offer ideas for healing. I do not however, reply to "forwards." So please do not send them to me. If you want to talk, I am here. I will leave you with one of my most recent poems.

The Littlest Ones

So many little faces,
so many little eyes,
so many little voices,
so many little cries.

No one heard their crying,
no one stopped their misery.
Now all that’s left are memories
where a child used to be.

In heaven they now are dancing
with angels by their side,
no more pain and heartache
since these littlest angels died.

When will we stop their suffering?
When will we do what’s right?
When will we love the children
who are precious in his sight?

Lord help us if you hear us,
and listen to our prayers
so the littlest ones will understand
that someone really cares.

© Sunday, March 30, 2008 Susan Maree Jeavons-All Rights Reserved

Blessings and Miracles!
Susan Maree

In Honor of Martin Luther King

2008-01-23T08:05:00.000-08:00

We All Have A Dream

We all have a dream.
Mine is that one day,
all God’s children
will stand on the mountain peak
and speak with one voice
so that the world will have no choice,
but to hear that we are tired of the violence,
we are tired of the fear!
We are tired of the bruises,
we are tired of the misery,
and like Martin Luther King,
we just want to be free!
Free from the pain,
free from the apathy,
free from child abuse
and tyranny.
Free from injustice,
free from cruelty,
for we’re all God’s children
and we deserve to be
free from the chains of this indignity!

© 2008 Susan Maree Jeavons-All Rights Reserved
Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Courage In Patience

2008-01-15T06:07:00.000-08:00

A life-long writer and self-described "agent for social change", Beth Fehlbaum, a survivor of sexual abuse, describes Courage in Patience as "all of our story." She draws on her own experiences as an English teacher in developing the lesson plan used by the character Beverly to teach her summer English class. With encouragement from author Chris Crutcher, Beth Fehlbaum weaves the important messages found in his novel, Ironman, into her own original story.

Accomplishments: M.Ed. in Reading; B.A. in English -emphasis Writing, minor in Secondary Education - emphasis Language Arts.
Who's Who Among American Teachers

This touching and inspiring story was written with teens in mind, but it is much more than a YA novel. The emotions and lessons will resonate with adults as well, and the manner in which the subject matter of sexual abuse is dealt with is equally appropriate for both a teen and an adult audience. The content is never graphic or disturbing, showing the emotional devastation caused by such abuse without going into great detail about the physical aspects of the sexual attacks. The themes of abuse, social injustice, racism, peer pressure, bullying, parental responsibility, fear, forgiveness, love, acceptance, and hope will strike a chord in the hearts of readers young and old alike.

Beth Fehlbaum, author, Courage in Patience
Kunati Books, ISBN # 978-1-60164-156-4
Available on Amazon and in bookstores, September,2008
http://courageinpatience.blogspot.com
http://www.bethfehlbaum.com
http://www.kunati.com

Happy New Year!

2008-01-06T07:01:00.000-08:00

Hello and Happy New Year!

I am sorry I have not posted anything in so long. I have had many problems with my computer and can't always log on. I also had my passwords stolen and had to go through all kinds of stuff to get new ones. My new email address is blueeyedreb@windstream.net

I will try to get a new article ready to post soon. I hope you all are doing OK.

Blessings!
Susan Maree

A Wish and A Prayer

2007-05-15T04:33:00.000-07:00

My Mama never cleans the house,
she lets the dirt pile high.
The cockroaches and other bugs
are always crawling by.
The refrigerator is empty
and the bread is hard as stone,
and sometimes when I’m hungry
I can hear my belly groan.
Still Mama says that tomorrow
she will clean and cook, but you see,
I know that’s just another lie
cause she always lies to me.
She spends her check on something
that this friend of hers calls crack,
and when she’s high, she swears at me
and hits me in the back.
Her fists are hard, but her words hurt more
cause I’m just a little kid,
who wishes she’d get better and do
the things that we once did,
like taking walks on Sundays,
or going to the ice cream store,
or visiting with Grandma,
but we don’t do those no more.
When I grow up and have a kid
I won’t do things like drugs.
I’ll get a job and hug my child,
and our house will not have bugs!
But until that time I’ll say my prayers
and hope that God hears me,
cause I know that he must understand
this thing called poverty…

© 2007 Susan Maree Jeavons-All Rights Reserved
Written on 2/18/2007 @ 9:23 AM

April-Child Abuse Awareness & Prevention Month

2007-04-15T07:16:00.000-07:00

Seattle Washington-March 30, 2007
A self-professed 45-year-old pedophile was caught taking pictures of local little girls aged 3 to 11, playing, riding their bikes, at dance recitals, and just being children, and was posting them on his Internet pedophile website called Seattle-Tacoma-Everett Girl Love, which has temporarily been taken down. The police say they can do nothing, since he has not broken any law, and has no criminal record. The community is outraged, as they should be!

Monday, April 02, 2007
Wayne County Michigan
A mother offered an undercover policeman her 7-year-old daughter for sex, porno-anything goes. She even brought several outfits for the child, and told the undercover cop that the child would cooperate with anything he wished to do to her.

These are just two headlines that when I heard them, I became enraged!

April is Child Abuse Awareness & Prevention Month, but I think we have become more aware, thanks to the Internet and the news. The problem is that we have not become involved enough. We must let our legislators know that we expect them to take a tough stand with anyone that is convicted of harming a child. Demand no plea bargaining for child molesters and murderers. No early releases, and mandatory life in prison for repeat offenders.

If you suspect that someone you know is abusing or exploiting a child, please contact the proper authorities. You may remain anonymous.

Here are some helpful links:

FBI-Crimes Against Children Unit
http://www.fbi.gov/hq/cid/cac/innocent.htm

Prevent Child Abuse America
http://www.preventchildabuse.org/index.shtml

Child Help USA
http://www.childhelpusa.org/

National Center for Missing & Exploited Children
http://www.missingkids.com/
24-Hour Hotline 1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678)

National sex offender Web site launched. The U.S. Justice Department launched its online National Sex Offender Public Registry site today at nsopr.gov, allowing users to perform a single search of the sex offender registries of 22 states simultaneously. According to the Justice Department, data from the remaining state public sex offender registries are expected to be added to the NSOPR within six months. http://www.nsopr.gov

U.S. CyberWatch
A private citizens Internet Neighborhood Watch whose goal is to inform you about the danger that exists for children in chat rooms. That danger is real, and it is a much bigger problem than most people realize. It's a dark, ugly issue and one that many people don't want to face head-on. U. S. CyberWatch does what it can to protect our children from predators on-line.
For More Info:
http://www.uscyberwatch.com/

The Child Abuse Prevention Network
http://child-abuse.com/
The Child Abuse Prevention Network is the Internet Nerve Center for professionals in the field of child abuse and neglect. Child maltreatment, physical abuse, psychological maltreatment, neglect, sexual abuse, and emotional abuse and neglect are our key areas of concern. We provide unique and powerful tools for all workers to support the identification, investigation, treatment, adjudication, and prevention of child abuse and neglect. Originally launched as an outreach effort of the Family Life Development Center, the Child Abuse Prevention Network is sponsored by LifeNET, Inc.

Administration for Children and Families
http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/
The Administration for Children and Families (ACF) is a federal agency funding state, territory, local, and tribal organizations to provide family assistance (welfare), child support, child care, Head Start, child welfare, and other programs relating to children and families. Actual services are provided by state, county, city and tribal governments, and public and private local agencies. ACF assists these organizations through funding, policy direction, and information services.

Simple Acts of Kindness

2007-03-07T04:01:00.000-08:00

At 6:30 PM, on Monday, March 5th, I received a phone call from a stranger named Mary, of San Diego CA. She told me about a man name Stuart who committed suicide on Friday. I have talked to so many adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse over the course of the last 8 years, that I could not remember Stuart specifically. Yet she called to thank me for being kind to him when he was alive.

After Mary’s call, I found myself overcome with grief for a stranger that I had never met. I did not know Stuart, but Mary told me that he was very passionate about the topic that I had written about; The Catholic Scandal, an article about adults who were abused by the Catholic clergy when they were children. So I went back on line and read the discussion and article. Then I remembered Stuart, and that we had something in common, besides being the same age, we both wanted justice for adults who have been sexually abused as children.

After thinking about Stuart’s life and wondering why he ended it the way he did, and then pondering about this kind stranger who had called me to thank me, I felt compelled to post the original letter from Stuart, along with the article, in his memory. I hope that he knew that his passion mattered. People like Stuart and Mary, fuel my desire to do everything in my power to continue to fight for stronger laws to protect the most innocent among us from sexual predators.

Here is the article, and the letter of his that I posted at Suite101:

"The Catholic Scandal" © 2002 Susan Maree Jeavons

For several years now, I have been writing about the sexual abuse of children. I have researched all aspects of abuse, read the statistics each year and followed the progress (or lack of it,) of related bills in Congress. I have answered letters from hundreds of survivors, written many letters to my State and Federal Representatives to ask for their support in several child abuse bills, and posted my opinion about child sexual abuse in dozens of survivor forums and news sites. I have read child abuse news articles all across the country.

For the last few months, America has heard about the sexual abuse of Catholic children by priests. It seems that every week another victim comes forward. More secret financial settlements are revealed, with millions of dollars spent to silence the victims, to avoid embarrassment to the church.

I have watched and listened as America responds at last to the sexual abuse of children and I wonder why it took so long. Thousands of children, all religions, have been sexually abused every year by parents, teachers, coaches, relatives, neighbors and others, and I never saw such a reaction to those cases. Is it because the abuse happened by priests? Is it because priests are supposed to be God like, protecting children and teaching them the difference between good and evil? Aren’t parents, coaches, teachers, relatives neighbors and others just as responsible for children’s protection and education? Shouldn’t we be just as appalled and outraged when a father rapes his own daughter as we are when a priests rapes a child? Why is it any different, any less criminal or heinous?

Some may think that the Catholic scandal is on a much larger scale, but I do not believe that to be true. Out of 903,000 victims of child abuse, 11.5% of those (over 100,000 children) were reported to be sexually abused in 1999 alone, according to the findings of the US Dept. of Health & Human Services. This does not take into account those victims who did not report their abuse. The Catholic sexual abuse numbers are not known yet, but theoretically, if you take the last 10 years and total just 50% of the 1999 statistics for each year, that adds up to at least over half a million children who have been sexually abused.

The figures are inconceivable, yet until the Catholic Church became the focus, sexual abuse of children was not front page news. No one stood out in front of City Hall with signs, protesting the rape of innocent children, demanding that fathers, step-fathers, uncles, grandfathers, brothers and others be removed from their duties as protectors of children. Don’t we have a responsibility to protest the sexual abuse of all children, regardless of religion, race or economic status?

Don’t get me wrong, I am happy that this injustice has been brought to light. I only hope that in the process of looking closer at who is protecting our children, I pray that we look just as closely at the cases that are not related to the Catholic scandal. I pray that anyone who sexually abuses a child, will be scrutinized and publicly scorned as thoroughly as the Catholic priests have been. Public humiliation should have a powerful impact on these perpetrators. The victims and families trusted these priests with their children’s lives, much the same as any child trusts his life to his parents.

Sexual abuse of a child is the ultimate betrayal of trust, whether the perpetrator is a Catholic priest, a care taker or a family member.

June 18, 2002
SusanMaree: I received this comment and asked permission to post it here. I agree with Mr. Schwertok's comments and ask that you consider writing to your representatives about this subject.

Stuart's Comment, June 16, 2002:
Dear Friends, A decades long criminal conspiracy has been perpetrated against the most vulnerable and innocent members of our society. It is painfully clear that officials at the highest levels of authority in the Catholic Church have knowingly allowed clergy to prey upon and sexually assault untold numbers of young children. It is a fact that many Bishops, having first hand knowledge of these crimes have remained silent and have allowed the crimes to continue for years, and even decades. It is a fact that some of these predators have been abated in their search for new victims by church elders who have chosen to transfer these predators from one church to another rather then to confront and report their crimes. These same officials have the unfathomable arrogance to sit around week after week discussing how many strikes the church will allow these sexual predators to accrue and what if any punishment, will be imposed. Let s also remember the Church considers a strike to represent an assault on a particular victim. It does not account for how many times, or for how long a period of time, a child was victimized. Additionally, there is no way to account for victims who will not or cannot confront their tormentor. Through all of this I have yet to hear a single elected public servant voice his or her outrage, and certainly no one has voiced mine. Why doesn’t every member of the Senate and House demand the Justice Department focus attention on what is undeniably a criminal conspiracy? Why isn’t a Federal Grand Jury already investigating these crimes? How in the name of all that is truly holy can this be happening? Does the separation of Church and State grant immunity to members of a clergy to sexually assault and destroy the lives of innocent children? Are church elders and officials accountable to a set of laws different from those I and 280 million other Americans live by? Of equal concern is how every single elected public official, through their silence and cowardice, has condoned the actions of these criminals. To me they are all co-conspirators. It breaks my heart to realize that the entire Executive, Legislative and Judicial branches of our government allows sexual predators to continue their atrocities rather than risk controversy. I know for most people this is an emotional and difficult issue to deal with. While obviously emotional, this issue is far too important to be ignored. Everything I believe to be sacred demands that children be protected and nurtured. Anything less denies the basic morality Americans have always stood for and the morality I stand for. I hope you will contact every elected public servant you believe is failing in his or her obligation to represent you and what you believe in. I also I hope you will ask other friends to do the same.
Sincerely,
Stuart

This is the notice of Stuart’s suicide:
© 2007 North County Times Friday, March 2, 2007
VISTA --- A man found dead Friday morning at the side of a hilltop street in the Vista area is believed to have committed suicide, authorities said.San Diego County medical examiner's investigators said Stuart Alan Schwertok, 57, of Vista appears to have died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. An autopsy will be performed to determine the exact cause of death.

Stuart, your efforts on behalf of innocent children, will not be forgotten. May you rest in peace...

Happy New Year

2007-01-03T05:08:00.000-08:00

Hello all,

Sorry I have not posted in so long. I have been dealing with some health issues, and go Friday for a CT Coronary Angiogram. So I am not on here much these days. Please keep me in your prayers.

I'll share this poem before I go, and hope that you all have a New Year filled with love, laughter, and many blessings.

When Children Filled My Days

My world is covered in a blanket of snow
as I sit here by the fires glow
and remember back not so long ago
when children filled my days.

Now the only sound is the wind outside
as the memories of a mother’s pride
remind me of the happy tears I cried
when children filled my days.

When the long day moon shines down below
and makes sparkling diamonds on the snow
I remember back not so long ago
when children filled my days.

Back then my days were filled with the joy
of three little girls and one little boy,
and nothing life brings will ever destroy
when children filled my days,
when children filled my days…

© Saturday, December 09, 2006 Susan Maree Jeavons-All Rights Reserved

Know Who Is Befriending, Coaching, or Teaching Your Child

2006-08-31T18:51:00.000-07:00

Do you know who your neighbors are? Do you know who your children’s friends, teachers and coaches are? More likely than not, you probably don’t know many of them. Why? Americans are too busy trying to survive in a world where the cost of living out paces wages greatly. We are too busy running here and there, keeping appointments, doing chores, taxiing children to school events and extracurricular activities. The results of this could be devastating!

Three houses down, a stranger sits naked behind a curtain, watching a 9-year-old child, your child, walk to school alone. None of his neighbors know that he is a convicted child molester. He has not registered with the police department in this town. They don’t know that he is here, waiting to find his next victim.
11-year-old Sarah has gymnastics practice after school. She is top in her class and dreams of being in the Olympics some day, but she is afraid to tell her parents that her coach touched her inappropriately. She doesn’t’ want to do anything that may ruin her chances. So she keeps her secret to herself, and puts up with his sexual advances.
14-year-old Charlie is a "C" student, and has to stay after school to be tutored. The young, blonde teacher tells him he is sexy, and Charlie thinks she is gorgeous. He is flattered by the gifts she brings for him, and by all the attention she gives him. Eventually, Charlie is molested by the teacher, but he does not see it as rape, and thus, does not report the abuse.

All these stories are fictitious, but could easily be the true story of a child in any town in the USA. Parents need to make their children’s safety a #1 priority. To do that, here are a few safety tips:

Talk to your children. Tell them to never walk alone, and to always have a buddy with them at school events or after-school practices. Tell them no matter what age they are, no one has the right to touch them inappropriately, or make them feel uncomfortable in any way. Let them know they can come to you with any problem.
Check with your local police department to see if there are any sex offenders living near you or your child’s school. You can also do on-line searches for predators in your community.
Check to see if your school district does criminal background checks on all employees, if not-demand that they do.
Communicate with your child’s teachers, coaches and friends.
Have a secret family code word that must be known, if anyone but you or your spouse has to pick your child up from school.
Do not put your child’s name on the outside of his or her clothing, backpacks or other items.
Teach your child that it is OK to say no to an adult , if that adult’s request is something that may harm the child in any way.
Don’t allow your child to spend the night anywhere that you do not know all the adults who will be in charge of your child’s safety.
If possible, attend your child’s after-school practices, and other events when you can.
Teach your child to tell someone they trust immediately, if someone harms them in any way.

These are just a few tips for parents. The most important thing you can do to keep your child safe from predators, is to communicate with them. Use age-appropriate language when you talk about sexual abuse. Though you may feel uncomfortable talking about this subject, doing so may save your child’s life.

For more information:

State Sex Offender Registry Web Sites
http://www.fbi.gov/hq/cid/cac/states.htm

FBI Kids Page - Safety Tips for Kids
http://www.fbi.gov/kids/k5th/safety4.htm

Bravo MSNBC!

2006-06-13T14:55:00.000-07:00

Maybe some of you have seen the "Catch A Predator" episodes of Dateline MSNBC. If not, you should have! All parents should have seen it! They were very enlightening! If your child has a computer, or uses yours to surf the web:

'To Catch a Predator' will be rebroadcast on MSNBC Cable
— Part 3 of Florida: Saturday, June 17, 10 p.m.
— Part 4 of Florida: Saturday, June 24, 10 p.m.

Watch it! If you don’t have cable, find a friend who does and watch it together.

Who are these men who surf the web looking for children to molest?
Just a few:

A Paramedic
A 6th Grade Catholic Teacher
A Student in an Evangelical College
An Army Reservist
A Home Health Care Worker
A Rabbi
A Fireman
A Coach
A Mental Health Worker For Teens

This should be a wake-up call for parents! Do not leave your child with anyone that you do not personally know and trust. Even if they are a clergyman, teacher, fireman, policeman or coach. Predators are good at what they do. They may seem like kind-hearted people who just love your children, but some of them use this as bait to lure their prey in. They may even buy your child gifts, offer to take them places, or offer to baby-sit. For a single parent, this may be a very tempting offer, but don’t fall for it. If you do, you may be sending your child into a dangerous situation.

Teach your children to be aware, and to tell if anyone does anything that makes them feel uncomfortable. Talk to them in plain English and they will understand. Let them know that they can come to you with anything, and you will not judge them for it. Honesty in this instance, may save a child’s life.

Some of the men on Dateline, drove over 200 miles to meet underage children for sex. Some rode the bus for 4 hours. One man brought rope and duct tape with him. Another, coming to see who he thought was a 14-year-old boy, brought his 5-year-old son with him. Because of that, Dateline did not confront him. I hope they did so later, when the child was not with him. I wonder what he had planned for his son….

Chris Hansen and Dateline MSNBC should be commended for their efforts on behalf of our children. More stations should do what MSNBC did. If they did, maybe these sick perverts would get the message; LEAVE OUR CHILDREN ALONE!

To read more about this story, and to see more safety information, click on the following link, then in the left sidebar, click on "Catch A Predator.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/

C.A.R.E.-Child Abuse Robs Everyone

2006-02-21T06:18:00.000-08:00

An Idealist’s View
© 2006 Susan Maree Jeavons-All Rights Reserved

Lately, I have pondered on what child abuse really does. Not only does it scar the victim, but it scars society. We can see its endless trail of destruction everywhere we look.

A child who has been abused may grow up having a different impression of life than someone who grew up in a loving home. They may be hypersensitive and/or view others with suspicion and caution. They may feel anger, resentment and even rage towards a society that has failed to protect them. They may withdraw from society because of fear and depression. Or, they may fight back by harming themselves and others.

Our jails and prisons are filled with the human wreckage of child abuse. Many of these criminals were abused as children. Many grew up to become abusers in one way or another, raping, robbing and wreaking havoc in our communities. Some turn to prostitution or drugs. Still, the full scope of the complications of child abuse are somewhat immeasurable. Its poison has seeped into every corner of society. Yet instead of trying to find solutions to this canker that destroys the spirit of our youth, society has become hyper-violent. In fact, we glamorize violence!

Today’s young people view more violence on TV, the Internet, their games, and even in their schools, than any generation before them. Violent youth gangs have infected almost every town in America. Young people are told that gangs are cool, and are encouraged to join. Many join because they want to feel like they belong, or because they need to be valued for something, even if that something is violence.

Children who have been, or are being abused, may see all this as proof that no one really cares enough to do something to end the violence. But change is needed now! We must care enough to voice our opposition to violence in the media and our communities. We must care enough to teach our children that violence is wrong. We must care enough to turn off the TV, take away the violent games, and take back our cities and towns. We must care enough to stop spoiling our children and start teaching them that they have to work for what they want. We must care enough to stop using our hands to harm, and instead, start extending our hands to help those who need help.

Teaching children the difference between right and wrong may be a basic lesson, yet we have failed to do so adequately. Parenting classes should be mandatory for all high school students. So should relaxation therapy, religious and racial tolerance classes, and self-control classes. Giving our children the education to succeed not only financially in life, but personally and spiritually, will hopefully lead to a society that values its children and life itself, more.
Love means caring enough to not only speak out, but to reach out and hold on, and never give up hope or the belief, that all children deserve to live in a violence free world. Care enough , and it may even lead to world peace someday…

A Child's Night Before

2005-12-21T04:23:00.000-08:00

A Child’s Night Before

T’was the night before Christmas and all through the earth
no one was thinking of the miracle birth.
Not one word was spoken of the savior who came,
until one little child called out his name,
"Oh Jesus, where are you? I need you so much.
It’s Christmas and I don’t want presents and such.
What I really want can’t be wrapped with a bow,
but I don’t have to tell you. You already know.
Every night I bow down and whisper a prayer
and I know you’ve been listening, cause they say that you care.
So Jesus please hear me when I kneel and say,
make Mommy and Daddy love me today.
I try to be good, but sometimes it is hard.
I follow the rules and I’m always on guard.
But I’m just a kid, I’m not very old,
and sometimes it hurts when they hit me and scold.
So Jesus, this Christmas if it’s all right with you,
don’t bring any toys. Just their love will do."
On this night before Christmas, the Lord shed a tear
for all of the children who must live in fear.
His heart was quite heavy with the burden he bore,
so he reached down to hold her in his arms once more.
And she heard him exclaim, before she went to sleep,
"I love you my child, and that’s a promise I’ll keep.
I’ll be right beside you every step of the way
with angels to guard you each night and each day."
Before the child closed her eyes, she whispered just this,
"I know that you will." Then she gave him a kiss.
"Merry Christmas dear Jesus, and happy birthday to you,
and oh, one more thing. I love you too."

A New Night Before...

2005-12-21T04:14:00.000-08:00

A New Night Before...

‘Twas the night before Christmas and something wasn't right.
The children weren't happy, ‘twas a very sad sight.
Santa was puzzled, Oh what could he do
for these innocent children he once thought he knew?
They didn't want dolls or wagons or toys.
They didn't even smile like most girls and boys.
They had bruises on their cheeks, tears in their eyes,
then Santa heard their whimpers, heard all their cries.
He'd been very busy, did not see the clues,
these sad little children had all been abused.
"How can I give them presents when they need so much more;
A safe place to sleep instead of the floor,
a full belly at night and parents who care.
How can I think of Christmas when this just isn't fair?"
He went right to work, with the help of his crew,
toiling all night until the great task was through.
Bright and early on Christmas, the children all rose
thinking that Santa cared not of their woes,
'til they looked near the tree and there in plain sight
was a letter to all parents in plain black and white:

"Dear Parents I've left no toys here today
but listen and heed these words that I say.
These children need more than presents this time.
I want you to know, ABUSE IS A CRIME!
A child isn't yours to do with as you please!
Children have rights, rights such as these:
the right to be healthy, not hungry and weak,
the right to be happy, the right just to speak.
Just like you and I, they have hopes and fears,
So I've brought a few presents, the first is their tears.
Please wipe them away, and calm them with a kiss.
Next is their hearts, something you sometimes miss.
Please handle them gently, for a child's heart will break,
and some scars never heal from your careless mistakes.
Next is their spirit and their inquisitive mind,
both fragile parts, so try to be kind.
Last are their souls, innocent and good,
placed in these children, so try if you could
to always be loving, patient and fair.
It's the gift they all asked for, so show them you care.
Each child is unique, has so much to give.
All they want is your love, a chance just to live.
Merry Christmas to all and to every girl and boy
a home filled with laughter, a home filled with joy.

A Christmas Poem For My Children

2005-12-17T07:12:00.000-08:00

A Legacy of Love

At Christmas time we celebrate the birth of Christ our King,
with gifts in honor of his sweet name for friends and family.
But this year rather than a gift that you may forget one day,
I thought instead I’d pass along a gift from yesterday.
This present was not costly, but it’s a priceless gift you see,
an heirloom that I’ve treasured that was once passed down to me.
Now I give this gift in hopes that you will cherish it, and one day
pass it down to your children with just a note to say,

"This gift has come a long, long way and was handled with much love,
just like the gift God sent to us from heaven up above.
It is a symbol of the love that I have for family,
and I hope you know how much your love has always meant to me.
Merry Christmas my dear child, now handle this gift with care,
for the love I pass to you today is a love that is so rare.
Our mothers and grandmothers can never be replaced,
but with this gift I know their love for family can be traced."

I love you.
Mom
© Christmas 2005 Susan Maree Jeavons-All Rights Reserved

National Children's Memorial Day

2005-12-11T14:02:00.000-08:00

National Children's Memorial Day Worldwide Candle Lighting
"That their light may always shine"

Sunday, December 11, 2004

Please Remember Our Children
Who have gone too soon
Light a candle on Sunday Dec. 11, 2004
at 7:00 p.m. in your time zone.

The worldwide candle lighting is held annually on the second Sunday in December. At 7 PM, in every time zone, candles are lighted in honor of all children who have died.

Last Minute Gifts

2005-12-08T11:54:00.000-08:00

Hello all, and Merry Christmas!

I am just letting you know that I am still here.

Feeling rather blue since I left Suite101, but

things will get better.

Here is an idea for a last minute gift:

New CD -Surviving The Storms! Songs of Hope, Courage and Inspiration

I wrote the lyrics to two of the songs on this CD.

Heaven Bound and I Come To Thee,

are sung by Tarey Wolf.

To purchase the CD:

http://www.centurydemos.com/survivingthestorms.html

Or to see more info on other CD’s,
http://www.centurydemos.com/

When you purchase "SURVIVING THE STORMS"

a $1.00 donation is given to each of these charities:

The Salvation Army

The American Red Cross

and

The Armed Forces Veterans Homes Foundation.

FOR THE SUPPORT OF OUR MUSIC!

Please support this project. Make a difference in the lives of others.
Surviving The Storms CD: $15.97

Shipping & Handling USA $ 3.50

S&H (Overseas & Canada) $6.00 Check or Money Order

Mail to:Iris Harden

PO Box 25

Harlem, Ga. 30814

Surviving The Holidays, A Child Abuse Survivors Guide

2005-11-01T05:18:00.000-08:00

The holidays are fast approaching. With that comes family get-togethers. For some child abuse survivors in recovery, that in itself, can be a traumatic event. Facing and coping with those who may have been the ones who abused us, can be very emotional and even triggering.

If you are a child abuse survivor who still associates with family members who abused you, you may be fighting an up hill battle to recovery. Putting yourself in these highly stressful situations, can only serve one purpose, pleasing your abuser. This may not be a conscious choice, but unconsciously, you are still attempting to gain approval or love from your abuser, which is only natural if the abuser was a parent or loved one.

Breaking family holiday traditions is not an easy choice to make. More than likely, we all have a few good memories of Thanksgiving, Hanukkah or Christmas celebrations with family members. The song lyrics that begin with, "Over the river and through the woods, to Grandmother’s house we go," may stir a bit of nostalgia in all of us. But for some of us, that house may be a place that haunts us. It may be a place that brings back memories that we would rather forget.

You do not have to maintain a false front to please those who abused you. You are under no obligation to attend family functions, if that family is responsible for your abuse. If doing so fills you with stress and trepidation, why put yourself through that?

One way that survivors can cope with the approaching holidays, is to start new traditions, or observe old ones in their own homes. Whether you are single, or have a husband and children, you can start your own holiday rituals.
Here are ideas for creating holiday traditions in your own home:

Visit a tree farm and cut your own holiday tree.
Make hot cocoa with marshmallows to enjoy as you and your family trim the tree.
Make handmade decorations for the tree.
Take a family portrait to send as holiday greetings.
Go caroling with your family and friends.
Invite friends to a covered dish holiday dinner, and ask them to bring their favorite holiday dish or dessert to share. You provide the main course.
Have a gift exchange with friends.
Invite neighborhood kids over to help bake holiday cookies.

Starting your own holiday traditions can alleviate some of the loss you may feel when you choose to decline the invitation to celebrate the holidays with your other family. However, if you still feel an obligation to your extended family, send them a nice card and gift, with a note that you will not be attending the family celebration, explaining that this year, you will be celebrating the holidays with your own family. If you feel obligated to explain further, simply be honest, but without being rude. Like this:

"We wish the family a happy holiday, but will not be attending the family celebration this year. To alleviate the anxiety that I experience during the holidays, we will be celebrating them in our own home this year."

There is no need for any further explanation.

If you have already made the decision to decline the invitation to celebrate the holidays with your abusive family, let us know how your holidays went, and how it affected you emotionally to do so. Did you feel a sense of loss? Or did you feel relieved, and even happier? Either way, I hope that the holidays with your family will be a time of love and inner peace for you.

Happy Holidays!

Susan Maree Jeavons

State Sex Offender Registries

2005-10-30T06:11:00.000-08:00

Ohio has a site that provides a zip code search for sex offenders, that includes pictures.

http://www.esorn.ag.state.oh.us/Secured/p1.aspx

Check your state to see if they have a registry.
State Sex Offender Registry Web Sites

http://www.fbi.gov/hq/cid/cac/states.htm

Or try a Google Search of:

NATIONAL ALERT REGISTRY

How Close Do You Live To A Sex Offender?

2005-10-28T05:53:00.000-07:00

I wanted to share this link with everyone who has children or grandchildren they want to protect.

Family Watchdog
http://www.familywatchdog.us

Family Watchdog is a site where you can type in your address and find a map and a list of sex offenders in your area. After the map loads, click on List and you can print out a list with names and addresses and how many miles they live from you.

I did this for all of my daughters, and hope they will keep the list on their fridge where they can see it. We must do all that we can to protect our children from these offenders.

A Poem For My Granddaughter

2005-10-26T07:43:00.000-07:00

This poem is for my youngest granddaughter who will be two next month.

Hope For Emily

She loves baby dolls and horses
and a purple dinosaur.
She does not care about such things
as politics and war,
but her parents care about them
because her future is at stake,
though she’s just a tiny toddler
with two candles on her cake.

What will this world be like
when she reaches twenty one,
and will her parent’s concerns matter
when all is said and done?
Will she grow into a woman
that will make her parents proud?
Will she stand up for her rights,
if that is still allowed?

Maybe the world will be quite different
than what her parents now hope for,
for the child who loves dolls and horses
and a purple dinosaur…

© 2005 Susan Maree Jeavons-All Rights Reserved

A Rainy Day Request

2005-10-25T04:39:00.000-07:00

On this chilly, rainy Tuesday, I am trying to learn how to make my new home a place where survivors can come to share their stories and find hope.

If you are a child abuse survivor with your own blog, please send me the link so that I may add it here. I will not add links that contain X-rated material. I welcome sites on any topics that are related to child abuse.

I look forward to getting to know other survivors and re-connecting with old friends.

Here is a poem I wrote after watching the movie, Woman, Thou Art Loosed!

WOMAN, Thou Art LOOSED!

Man has been using
and abusing woman
long enough,
and we tired of it!

We ain’t gonna take it anymore!
We ain’t gonna spread our legs
when them legs are weary
and aching anymore!

We ain’t gonna do that nasty thang
just to feed your need anymore!
There’ll be no more fondling our breasts
or grabbing our hips!

No more whiskey-tasting lips
telling lies and giving alibis
for your adulterous ways
and your vulgar displays!

We ain’t gonna be terrified,
and we ain’t gonna lay down our pride
just to give you a free ride
on this honey train no more!

So watch your step Mister,
cause this sister ain’t no whore,
and Mister, just so you know-
this sister ain’t gonna take it anymore!

© 2004 Susan Maree Jeavons-All Rights Reserved

Coming Soon!

2005-10-23T16:53:00.000-07:00

Look for my first article here at my new home, in November:

Surviving The Holidays, A Child Abuse Survivors Guide

Until then, here's a poem dedicated to Tesslynn O'Cull:

In Memory of Tesslynn O’Cull-1994-1997

Tesslynn O’Cull was only 3-years-old,
when they found her body in a grave near Sweet Home.
It was the worst case of child abuse they’d ever seen
thanks to Jesse Compton and methamphetamine.

This beautiful child was tortured to death,
and I vowed that until my very last breath,
I would tell her story so we’d never forget,
for society owes her at least this debt.

Others saw the abuse, yet they did not tell,
and this child’s life was a living hell.
She was shocked, raped and beaten and no one cared,
as her mother watched, Tesslynn sat and stared.

Tesslynn dared not scream or she’d have to pay
when Jesse threw knives and punches her way.
People came and went, but refused to step in,
so high on drugs that it didn’t matter to them.

Stella Kizer and Jesse Compton must pay their dues,
still the story of Tesslynn is now old news,
and though some may forget, I will keep my vow
to keep her memory alive somehow.

There’s a picture of Tesslynn on my office wall,
and at night in my dreams I can hear her call.
As she reaches out from beyond the grave,
I weep for the child that we could not save,

I weep for the child that we could not save…

© 2005 Susan Maree Jeavons-All Rights Reserved

Welcome to My New Home On The Web!

2005-10-22T17:08:00.000-07:00

On October 31st Suite101 will cease to exist as we know it.
Due to major changes being implemented by Suite101, I did not know what my future at Suite101 would be. All of my articles will still be available as "related articles" to the new main topic, but everything else topic related may be gone, including discussion threads, related pages, and links. That is almost seven years of hard work and research that will be gone. So I have decided to start this blog. I will be posting articles, links and poetry here instead of at Suite101 for now. I hope you will post your comments and let me know what you think of my new home.

This is new to me, so please be patient with me.

Blessings!
Susan Maree